BEAUTY FOR ASHES

By Pastor Sandra Davis
Victory Family Church
Swift Current, Saskatchewan
Canada

Original Aricle in: Victory Missions Newsletter

Oh God....please help me!

Those were the words ringing through my mind when I stepped on the scale and realized I weighed 272 pounds. Afterwards, I hurled insults at myself and barraged myself with the usual thoughts like "What is wrong with you!" "You have no self-control" "Every year you promise this is the year and it never is!" "How many times can you fail and start again?"  Thankfully in God you can always start again one more time and this is my testimony...

After eighteen years of continual weight gain all I knew for sure was "I have hit rock bottom and I need help."  I admitted to myself for the first time that I had a problem and I needed to deal with it before it dealt with me.  Websters Dictionary defines the word denial as "a refusal to accept or acknowledge" and "the act of contradiction". Nothing could describe my situation better than that word.

Shortly after that I was at home praying in our bedroom when the presence of God began to fill the room in a tangible way. The Holy Spirit began to show me a "video of my life" and revealed to me the root of my problem was a spirit of rejection and I felt the Lord reach into my heart and pull out that root.  I ran down the stairs and told my husband Pride what had happened. I said to him "I have a huge mess to clean up but for this first time in my life I know I can lose weight."

On January 8, 2009 I joined the gym and the girl who worked there mentioned to me that she had just lost 60 pounds herself.  I asked her if she would consider helping me.  We went into her office and I poured out my heart and humbled myself and finally admitted out loud how much I weighed and how bad my situation had become.  I began meeting with her each month hHhandhanding in my food journal and having her record my weight.

To date I have lost 120 pounds and have 12 pounds left to go praise God! In Isaiah 61:3 it says "to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes the oil of gladness instead of mourning." Thank you God for exchanging my ashes and setting me free!

Impact Your Kids

By Dr. Hazel Hill, D.Th
Missions Director
Victory Churches International

Original Article in: Victory Missions Newsletter

LIVE THE LIFE BEFORE THEM

Children will do what they see more then what they hear.  Model-Mentor-Motivate

"Watch what God does and do it, like children learn proper behaviour from their parents" (Ephesians 5:1 Msg)

MAKE SURE THEY ARE SAVED AS EARLY AS IS POSSIBLE.

"Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me" (Psalm 51:5).

SURROUND THEM WITH THE WORD OF GOD.

"Your Word I have hid in my heart that I might not sin against you" (Psalm 119:11)

TAKE THEM TO CHURCH AND SPEAK WELL ABOUT CHURCH

"God sets the solitary in families. He brings out those who are bound into prosperity..." (Psalm 68:6); Hebrews 12:15

LISTEN TO THEM

One day you will want them to listen to you. James 1:19-20.

TELL THEM ABOUT THE MIRACLES OF GOD YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED.  Psalm 78: 1-8.

GIVE THEM OPPORTUNITY TO EXPERIENCE GOD.

"That I may know Him..." (Philemon 3:10)

One Experience with God will Change a Life Forever.

EDUCATE THEM IN A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL

if at all possible, or be involved in every thing that is going on with your child in school.

"Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character" (1 Corinthians 15:33).

PLAN FOR THEM TO ATTEND BIBLE COLLEGE.

Don't send them into university unprepared.  Check out www.vbci.org for a great College option.

INVOLVE YOURSELF IN THEIR LIVES

Co-Dependency

By Pastor Clarisse Meyers, MCC
Royal Oak Victory Church
Calgary, Alberta
Canada

Original Article in: Victory Missions Newsletter

What is co-dependence? In the last 5-10 years, the term "codependent" has come to mean any person who focuses on another person in order to gain some kind of control. For example, the codependent who lives with a violent man watches him to assess his moods, walks on eggshells to keep upsetting things away from him, watches what she says so he won't get mad, etc.

A codependent boyfriend might keep his needs to himself. He doesn't voice an opinion until he sees what his girlfriend believes, so he won't come into conflict with her.

Codependents usually come from a background where things were out of control. Maybe they grew up in an alcoholic family, or in a family where parents were angry and fighting all the time, or they were victims of sexual abuse, emotional abuse, or violence. Or they were harshly criticized or ridiculed and made to feel small.

There are reasons why codependents need to feel safe. Codependency starts out as a self-protection. As children, perhaps the only defense they had against abuse was keeping an eye out for trouble, becoming invisible, or becoming the "little helper".

Through counseling, codependents can realize that their self protective behavior is no longer needed. They realize that their value doesn't come from doing; that they have value just for being.

If you think this might be you, some recommended books are: Boundaries and Safe People - by Cloud & Townsend.

LIVING PAST LOSS

By Pastor Pat Dennis, MSW
Eastside Victory Church
Calgary, AB
Canada

Original Article in: Victory Missions Newsletter

Having been involved in the counselling profession for years, I have always intellectually grasped the importance of understanding how to help others work through grief. However, it was not until I experienced the loss of a loved one that I truly understood on a “heart level” the need for each of us to learn how to deal it. Few of us will escape the loss of someone we love and therefore, we all need to understand the process, not only to help ourselves, but also to support others as they deal with grief and loss.

When considering the process of grief, many individuals adhere to the Kubler Ross Model which outlines the grief process in the following stages: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. However, this model was developed by a physician who dealt with people in the process of dying and does not fully describe the process of dealing with the loss of a loved one. A simple, yet more accurate model consists of three stages: shock, disorganization and reorganization.

During the first stage of the process, the person who receives the news of a death experiences shock and denial. He or she struggles to absorb the fact that death has occurred and often times experience a sense of being in a dream or being in a surreal state. As the reality of the loss begins to set, the person experiences waves or pangs of overwhelming grief that wash over him or her then subside.

As the individual comes to a fuller realization of the death, he or she progresses to the next level of grief --disorganization. This stage consists of numerous painful feelings which include anxiety, guilt, depression, anger, and a strong desire to make sense of the loss. These feels can be exaggerated and quite overwhelming. The individual is easily brought to tears, cannot make decisions readily, becomes forgetful, and often suffers from sleeplessness and lack of appetite. This stage can be difficult to cope with and can cause the individual to feel as if they are “losing his or her mind”. There is also a strong desire to talk about the lost loved one, touch their possessions, and to discuss circumstances surrounding the death. These behaviours provide comfort and help the individual absorb and process the loss.

In the final stage of grief, reorganization, the individual is in the process of learning to of reorganizing his or her emotions and learning how to live without the loved one. This can be a very challenging stage as the person makes efforts to readjust and to take on skills and roles once fulfilled by the loved one. He or she may still have teary moments, and still miss the person but has come to the place of making sense of and accepting the loss.

What should a person do if they are supporting one who is grieving? Of utmost importance is to let the one grieving be your guide and let you know what they need—what level of supports they required and when. To some, grief is very private while others need a great deal of support and input from others. One of the greatest needs at this time, is the need is a good listener who will allow the individual to express feelings, and share memories and details of the loved ones demise. There will also be a great need for emotional support and reassurance that the person’s feelings, no matter how extreme, are normal. The individual will also need support with practical matters, such as making arrangements, notifying others of the loss and in carrying out normal household duties such as cooking and child care and eventually, learning how to take over roles filled by the loved one. Pray both with the person and for the person on a regular basis. Lastly, do not forget them after the funeral. Call them, ask them out for dinner and continue to be a good and patient listener.